The latest government conspiracy is so nefarious, so underhanded, that it’s being conducted right under your nose: They’re trying to head off tooth decay by putting fluoride in your drinking water.
Yes, the same fluoride you spread over your toothbrush twice daily. On second thought, that doesn’t sound very devious, does it?
Well, it does if you’re city Councilman Peter Vallone of Queens, who is determined to save us from the men in black helicopters – we mean, workaday city bureaucrats – by preventing them from putting minuscule amounts of the chemical in our drinking water.
That’s why the city has been doing it since the 1960s – at a current yearly cost of about $7 million. Doing back-of-the-envelope math, all you have to do is prevent 70,000 cavities a year (at a cost of $100 each) for that investment to pay off.
The only problem, if there’s any at all, could come when tap water is packed with fluoride over the 4 milligram-per-liter range allowed by the feds.
But the city’s water supply contains just a quarter of that amount.
Vallone told the Daily News, “This amounts to forced medication by the government. What’s next? They decide we’re depressed and add Prozac to our drinking water?” We’d suggest fitting the councilman for a tinfoil hat, but he’d probably object on the grounds that tin is toxic.
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